So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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