I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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