We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
