guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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