She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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