True but thats because hes a fetus.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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