i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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