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I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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