I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
