Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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