The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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