Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
