I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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