I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
