Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
