You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
