She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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