The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize