Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize