Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
