Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
where are my eyebrows?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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