So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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