i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
