Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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