I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
