Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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