I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I did not marry a roomba.
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