Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
