Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
