He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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