Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
