So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
