I heard we made out
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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