Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize