Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
