I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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