dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
