i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
