i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
