He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize