saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
