you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
