For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
