11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
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I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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