He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
