the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You are the jesus of drinking
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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