do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
