Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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