one might say we're banned from that church
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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