So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
