who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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