you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
