i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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