I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
