I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
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I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He has the fingertips of a God
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