the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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