My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
