they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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