Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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