An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
