I can't breathe out the right side of my face
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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