i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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