and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
third nipple confirmed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
