She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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