maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
