I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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