She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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