I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
